To wit, while most of us talk about Jazz Fest from the perspective of the music, three friends who w

30 Rock, schmerty rock. You want to see real crazy? Just talk to anyone who works in a French Quarter hotel. Sure, the bars and the restaurants have it rough with the tourists who come to our beautiful city to throw up and pee on the streets. But the tourists just visit  those places. They stay  at the hotels.
To wit, while most of us talk about Jazz Fest from the perspective of the music, new orleans hotel french quarter three friends who work in Quarter hotels said they measure new orleans hotel french quarter each fest by the level of idiocy. And, just like the crowds on the Fair Grounds, this one broke records. Sitting on my stoop the other night, they explained why.
One friend told me about the 20-something young man his night auditor saw walking through the hotel lobby (and toward the front door) at 3 a.m. on the second Saturday. Carrying one of the hotel's 30-inch flat-screen televisions.
"Oh no," the man replied."I brought this with me" (an indication of the level of the man's intoxication).  Which led the night auditor to ask, "Then can you tell me why there are pieces of plaster still attached to the back of it?" (a sign of the level of the man's stupidity).
"Well," new orleans hotel french quarter the very east New Orleans new orleans hotel french quarter manager replied, "some fool brought three women up to his room last night. Two real, one not.  And, of course, they robbed him.  He came down here awhile ago, tail between his legs and all, wanting to use my phone --  my phone  -- to call his wife to cancel all of his credit new orleans hotel french quarter cards. I told him, 'Hell no, you're not using my phone.' "
My friend said he pleaded with the manager to tell him that she, in fact, did not say, "Hell, no" to a guest.  "Hell yes, I did," she assured him. "I'm not the one who brought three women -- two real and one not -- up to my room. I'm not going to let that fool use my phone."
Finally, new orleans hotel french quarter my third friend chimed in. I have a soft spot for him because his sense of humor is particularly twisted (think "Family Guy" meets "The Simpsons" meets Sarah Silverman). new orleans hotel french quarter  His boss is particularly tyrannical and, so, he has assigned him a ringtone that is the sound of a bomb detonating. The boss hates the color yellow, so my friend and his coworkers new orleans hotel french quarter wear yellow shirts to every monthly staff meeting. Twisted. I love him.
"Late in the afternoon of the last Thursday my front desk got a call," friend #3 started. "A female guest was screaming, 'Get it out, get it out'. He promptly new orleans hotel french quarter sent his bellman up to the woman's room, saying, "It must be a rat. Just go kill it."
Ten minutes later my friend was typing on his keyboard, head down, when he heard a large thud on the desk behind him. Followed by the staff member saying, "I don't know how you expect me to kill dat!" Which caused my friend to turn around. Which led him to cast his eyes on a super-sized, black, how to describe in a family paper? Let's just say battery-operated, late-night, pleasure stimulator (think the rabbit episode of "Sex in the City").
"The previous guest must have left it," the bellman said. "Mrs. Jones said it rolled out when she opened the chest drawer to put her blouses up. By the way, you got a housekeeping problem. Obviously, they ain't checking those drawers," the bellman said as he returned to his station, new orleans hotel french quarter leaving the battery-operated, er, rabbit, on the desk.
Who wouldn't want to watch a show with these characters? And we could get A-list stars with New Orleans ties to guess star. I, for one, vote for Ellen DeGeneres, Portia DiRossi and Angelina Jolie to be the afore-mentioned three women. Ellen and Portia, of course, would be the two real. Angelina new orleans hotel french quarter would play "One not."